August Slipped Away...

I did nothing of my reading challenge.

In fact, not only did I not read anything on the list, I bought 7 other books and have read all but one of them, which I am currently reading. But I'm not here to talk about reading - I want to talk about writing.

I haven't written anything substantial for three years. I've done the odd poem here and there. I've done the odd sponteneous writing session on a random evening, and never picked it up again after.

I don't know what happened or why I went from being semi-professional with it, to being completely unable to come up with any idea's to write about. I've been motivated but completely lacking inspiration. I've lost count of the times I've sat at my desk and stared at open notebook or a blank screen and not had a single idea come to mind.

When I was younger I never had to search for inspiration or idea's they would just spring to mind, sometimes in a dream (like the feature script I wrote for undergrad) or from processing adverse experiences in my life (like the script for my masters) or just because I was bored and fancied free writing to see what came of it (like Atlas).

I think a huge part of the problem after I finished the last draft of Atlas is that I filled every inch of my brain with thoughts that consumed my energy. It was mid-pandemic and I got a job in a call centre, and moved in with one of my closest friends. Then I found my own place, started some much needed therapy, made friends, adopted two cats and started a business, began my PhD application, was diagnosed with ADHD, started going to the gym regularly as well as running as often as I could. I've been on holidays and visited friends across the country, quit the call centre and retrained in marketing, got fired from the next job and moved to Bristol and into a house with my boyfriend. My parents got divorced, my friends had babies and got married. It's been wild.

It's no wonder there was no room left for anything else.

Since I've moved to Bristol I've been clearing out the life-clutter, and making things a bit more simple in the day-to-day. I made the difficult decision to close the business and instead got a salaried role (and I love my job). I'm making new friends here and keeping close with my non-local pals. Hopefully leaving myself some room to think will help me come up with something.

I've started a writing club with some of my friends who also love writing, where we'll chat online once a week about what we've done, set some goals for next time and do some workshopping. I've also found a group in Bristol who meet up a few times a week and do some writing together, like a drop in session to write with other writers, so I'll hopefully be going there next week after work and see what that's like, see if I can get something down on paper.

With the workshop group we've set a task for next week: write a page of something to share with the group. I've also got the task of coming up with a project to develop. I'm really hoping that something - anything - will get me started. I'm also scheduling some time to write over the weekend, see if I can dig out my old notes and remember what's helped before.

I think these are steps in the right direction. We'll just have to see. Until then:

Don't Tread On The Flowers.

F x